:D

I am happy for you!
My mind is at ease,finally.
Take care and enjoy your stay in Jarkata!

Freedom.

---

You hug me for the jacket that I bought for you.
I couldnt think of anything.
I deleted the pics of me cos I wanted to.
No use keeping a pic of me since we are already done.
I feel so upset when you hug me.
Hai.
Learn a lesson fools.

Love sucks.

---

To:Lynette

I guess this is has come to end.
Everything I hope for,
Everything I wish for,
Everything I long for,
Didnt come to what I wanted.
Instead,it all come down to an end.
It didnt go the way I wanted.
Never would I knew that it will all go this way.
Everything crashed,dead and gone.
I have so much things to tell you.
All those hopes and chances I gave,you turn it down.
Been patience for all these times.
We werent made for each other.
I have to open my eyes and accept it.
All the things I did when I mistreated you,
When I neglected you,
When I told myself to hate you,
I did it for a purpose.
And I regret my actions.
I should have tried better and learn my mistakes.
Seriously,I regretted it so much.
You want us to be friends,
But I dun want cos it will only hurt me again.
You were my true love.
I wanted you back cos I know you were the only one for me.
It was only you that I can feel myself right.
You were the only one that I would be happy with.
Even though we went through lots of shit.
And now,I am lost.
After what you told me,I finally see my real image of myself.
I thank you for what you said to me.
I thank you for telling me straight to my face.
It was like a slap on my face.
But I had to learn what I was really am.
I am inhuman.
Yes,I am really am.
And now,I am lost.
I have to pick myself up.
Thats why we fall.
I know its too late for me to say anything right now.
Nothing can be done.
You ownself said it,"its too late".
Its gonna be long tough ride.
But I am gonna try my best to reach the top.
Even though its late,I would like to say I am sorry for what I have done to you.
Like I said,there was a cause that I did it.
I feel very stupid.
Its over.
I am gonna have my own path to walk.
Our very young love,its all comes to an end.
Okay,I dun want to say anymore further.
It doesnt feel right to say it here.
Take care.
13/11/06

Dara,you are a nice girl.
But I am just not ready.
I dun want to be in love.
I hate myself.
Please,I need to clear my mind.
I am not the kind of guy you think I am.
Sorry.

---

Sup fans.

*What you are about to read is nothing personal.
Its just how I am feeling.
It does not mean anything.

So yeah,here it goes.
Hah.
I just came upon this song Beep by PCD.
And also,talking to Jun Yuan on msn.
We started talking about the past which really makes me wanna talk about it here!
Hahahaha!
This song,as far I can remember reminds me of my sec 1 time.
Secondary 1!
LOOKY!

Very gross right?
Yeah,extremely.
That boy(Ammar) was made to dance!
Worse,dance to the song BEEP!
And that time,I wasnt a dancer at all.
I was a soccer freak!
Hehehe.
And I like HER that time.
Only Jun Yuan and God knows how much I loved HER badly.
But luckily,at that sec 1 time,God was on my side :D
God made her my dance partner!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
It was exactly what I always wanted.
So I had a dance crew.
A noob crew.
It consists of Me,Zulqarnain,Zahira,Syafiqah,Syafarah and Aisyah the manager.
Pretty lame but pretty awesome people.
So it goes down to me and her,Zul with Syafiqah and Zahira solo.
We were to dance for the DANCEFLOOR competition which was organized by my school.
So creating steps for like 3weeks plus and sweating hard for the 1st prize.
The reason why the song Beep reminds me of all this was because Beep was part of the dance song.
There was this part,where she had to touch by my collar and swing it.
Haha,the first time we did,I was very nervous.
I was most worried that my collar had my sweat!
I guess she was to disgusted to touch it at first.
But slowly,things went well.
There were times when I was pretty cocked up.
Times when I complaint that the steps were lame.
Times when I fought with Aisyah for being such a bimbo.
Times when I almost wanted to give up but did not cos I wanted her.
And the time now is 3.32am.
Okay,random/weird,whatever you call it.
So the time has come.
It was during the Hai Sing Carnival.
I remember,Zahira and farah getting stucked inside the Malay Room and couldnt get out.
And when it was finally open,I saw them crying while I was smiling at them adoring how cute can they be.
Hahaha!
So change to our costume.
It was so gross.
I still remember I was wearing a white shirt with Logo of FOX infront.
And a pants.
Simple enough not to impress the judges.
Done,we took the stage and won....the 3rd prize.
$200vouchers of Macdonald I think.
And we werent happy with Aisyah cos she took the most share.
She did nothing but talking.
Pfft.
After the dance,we decided to celebrate by having fun going to the Haunted Dungeon in our sch.
Headed that.
Farah was in front of me.
It was dark and I accidentally keep touching her back and she need to shout at me.
Cant be blamed!
Haha!
And soooo,the story hasnt end yet.
The worse has yet to come.
Next day,during D&T,Aisyah came telling me I was a playboy.
I remembered it very clearly,Playboy.
She told me I touch her here and there.
Nonononononono bitch.
I *beep* didnt touch her,anyhow.
It was a *beeping* accident!
So yeah,here it ends.
Thank you.
*Beep* you!

---

Hey ho ha!
Finally done with my morning peeps on MSN.
So yeah,Ima blog here.
Which is why its called a Blog.(Am I nuts or something?)
I be having NCC Graduation Ceremony later at 9.45am.
After 4years,I am totally done with this shit.
I am sad to say,the discipline and standard in NCC has drop alot.
Remember the times where there would be a Sir always watching us.
Now,its gone.
All fuck up.
Cadets dun respect their ranks.
Me,used to be a cadet who was so into NCC.
I put my heart and sweat in it as I love this CCA so much.
And when things began to fuck up and bias,things werent good for me.
All hard works were gone to waste.
My dreams were not achieved.
So,I shall pass out with a rank of 2nd Sargent later.
At least,I thank God that I did what I had to.
Memories my cadets.
I pray things will improve in the future.
For those lucky ass,you get to try the SAR21 instead of M16.
Congrats.
Holidays are beginning to dampen my mood for anything.
All I long for now is to work at least 3times a week and spent the money on what I need.
Had a convo with my boys,and I invented a new word;Banglapush.
Sound kinda funny but I like it.
Haha!
Well,things are not going on well for me.
My sleepings aint that good.
I sleep late,woke up late without knowing what to do.
Its kind of like I am leading a wasted life.
Nah,I dun want that homie.
I want everyday to be HIP!
Thinking about love...it does suck so much.
Love is the most destructive object in this world.
I hate it.
All I am thinking is HER.
Boredom is killing me.

---

This is real "IT"!
This is so damn mega action pack!
With lots of emotional dramas and thrilling ride!
You wont stay seated in your seat I swear.
Cos there is one part,where a plane was flying rather low and it need to fly up higher.
Mind you,the plane is big.
And so,I was kinda like move out of my seat hoping they make it to the sky!
Hah.
Great visual effect.
It look so real that you can actually feel it.
Its like you are watching the future.
This movie is 2hrs which actually gives you a sense of satisfaction after the whole movie.
So I dun see why people should not watch that movie.
A-MUST-WATCH-MOVIE!
I am giving this movie a full star!
So tmr,i am going to watching it again!
One thing,watch how actually they really made the whole thing.
Even small details was very clear.
You can actually see how people are trying to get alive.
Its very exhilarating!
With that,I end my review.
I cant say anymore to actually spoil the whole thing.
So watch it!

---

---

Just finish watching Rihanna's interview on 20/20.
Even she agree with me.
In the last part,she said "F love"
Which means,Fuck Love.
Man,just look!
After watching her video,I am ashamed that Chris Brown,who is 1 year younger than her,could actually beat her up.
Even he went to the extent whereby he bit her left ear.
Ouch,thats gotta heard.
I myself half deaf like that.
If I kena bitten like that,habis la!
Poor Rihanna.
Will love you always.
You made a strong messages to the reputation of women.
I said women,not BITCHES!
So this is where I start.
2days you didnt contact me and you called it an achievement.
I see those comment,most of them said that you shldnt really bother me.
So why the fuck dont you listen to them.
You told them I am stubborn.
Dun you think you are being stubborn too?
We just cant make it you understand.
I know its been 3years.
So what?
You rather been in pain for all these years?
Dun be dumb.
We can never make it.
To be together is like breaking the world record.
I repeat,we can NEVER be together.
Cos I know,we will only hurt each other.
Plus,just look at us.
Look at our state.
We dun even look serious.
Looking at you,I dun even have the feeling that I can trust you with all those guys around.
Fuck you and love.
Bitch!

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