Mariska Hargitay

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Upset,Confused,Happy,Depressed,Jealous,Desperate,Love,Hatred.

These are the feelings that is running in my mind.
I duno which one am I feeling.
Pfft.
Its amazing that the woman I love so much can be the one that hurts me so much.
Oh gosh,I feel damn terrible.
Life isnt good for me if I have to think about it.
All this time,I depend myself on Lynette.
Even though I told myself and everybody I was independent.
But that was just to a brave front to show that I am just strong.
In fact,I am just so timid and small and a coward.
Without her now,I feel like a loser.
She must be happy that she has someone else to be her wall to support her.
While I am here being a good-for-nothing.
Helpless.
Thats what defines me.
But I know that life still have to go on without her.
Guess,I am going to suffer a very slow and long torture.
Wonder how am I gonna face it.
Hmm,I think shes having a good time now with him.
She might be moving on with him by now.
Talking to him on the phone every night like how we used to.
Laughing at every joke he makes,missing him.
Telling each other how much they miss and love.
Saying all those "I love you".
And whats next?
Sex?
Hug?
Kiss?
It will all happen soon.
The pics we had last time,I will see him on her pics.
You know,its hurts me alot when that day I was on the bus with her.
And he called her up while I sat beside her as I see her laughing and enjoying on the phone with him.
Thinking back,I knew she didnt treat me the same way as how he treat her.
I felt I was invisible.
Jealousy conquered me,but I kept my cool.
I didnt want to repeat my mistake by being rough to her.
I am glad I have some good friends who could made my day.
But I wish it didnt end cos I knew I would be back thinking of you and all.
This.is.life.
I shall end here and wait for further torture.
Goodnight.

Love sucks.

posted at 2:20 AM by Ammar | Permalink |

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