Mariska Hargitay

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Teared.

I took alot of courage to put down the bloody phone yesterday.
It felt like a stab to my heart.
It felt as though I hurt you when I hang up.
You called me today.
I didnt want to answer the first call as I was just afraid.
Afraid of everything.
2nd call,I pick up.
And I got a BIG question to ask myself,
Why am I putting up an act?
I know I am not myself when I am on the phone with you.
I know,I was just trying to show that nothing had happen.
But I know,I cannot escape from this.
And I wonder when I am finally to be my own self back.
Today was a long day.
As usual,every few minutes in class,I took my hp and see your pics.
The night when we first met and I didnt want to let go of you.
But I have to wake up to my senses.
I need to accept the fact,that things is not gonna be okay for us anymore.
And its really hard to accept it when I love you so much.
Hai.
I keep thinking of you and Randy.
Imagining what you two would be in the near future.
The dreams I had of us are crushed.
I so much want to get back to you.
Its not gonna happen right.

posted at 1:13 AM by Ammar | Permalink |

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