Just woke up crying and I can't stop.
Life is tough struggling with studies and life.
I cried thinking how hard it is to be able to hold on till now.
I feel betrayed by friends, my love.
All I wanted was happiness for the future.
The saying 'suffer now, enjoy later' doesnt seem to prove me right.
It seems im suffering more.
Its so sad, sitting up crying, waiting for some miracle to happen.
I wonder if she gone through this or I had it worse.
How could a human withstand this?
I would never want to let my loved ones go through this.
I can ensure it cos I did prove with Inah.
Before getting together with her, I told her, I would not treat you like how her ex treated her.
Walking away while she trail behind him.
There were cases whereby she left me, and I watched her from far.
Making sure shes safe.
Gosh, what am I even saying.
Its over.

Its the past haunting me.
Take care world.
I am just gonna cry myself to death/sleep.

I be fine again when the sun rise.
Yeah I will.

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I so badly want to watch The Walking Dead.
But it hurts so much to even watch it.
It reminds me of the times we were into it.
I wasn't used to watch without you.
I have stopped at Season 3, and now Season 4, I am just to afraid to watch it.
I remember the time I said to you I didn;t want you to be like Lori.
Guess you have became her, someone I hate.
Someone that is gone, a walker.
Guess for now, I have to stick just Season 3.
No more Walking Dead.
I have sacrifice as much as you do, but I have fallen even deeper than you.

Heh, it sounds silly.
But well, every small things can hurt me so big.

Ain't sleeping, going to continue back to my work.
Lots of filming and editing to be done.

For the future, or die trying.

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Had to ask my sis to sleep with me recently.
I been having real nightmares.
I will wake up, scared and depressed.
It felt so real, so real I wondered if its actually happening.
Now I been awake through the nights, I am scared to sleep.
What a life.
But somehow, I think I am getting better.
It still hurts yeah, but life have to go on.
I no longer tell my close friends my problems.
I keep it to myself since I think its of no use telling my problem.
Cant wait for the day I am out of this country.

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And today, I lost my Ezlink card and Student pass.
It wasn't because of that I was upset.
But it was the lanyard that was attached to it, that camou lanyard.
Which was from the Philippines, where our greatest adventure was.
That was the lanyard I love the most.
I know its silly, but its means alot to me.
Sigh, lost my love of my life, and now I lost a treasure of mine.

How life can that be.

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I had a life.
A beautiful life.
A beautiful life with a future.
A beautiful life with a bright future.
And it came to an end.

She took my life away.

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